I Would Die To Know You Love Me
by NekoJinDriger
Summary: just a short KaixRei story warning: suicide.


Just a short KaixRei story that popped into my head... I Would Die To Know You Love Me...ENJOY!!

I watch him, a smile on my face. He's messing around with people, messing around with their heads. Confusing them. Saying things that make absoluetly no sense to anybody but us.

Because that's just the way that Kai Hiwatari works.

I laugh at the looks on their faces. They don't get it, don't understand. But then again, they aren't supposed to. Kai whirls around to face me. He didn't know I'm here.

"You're too quiet, Rei." He tells me...he's the only one who thinks that. He wraps his arms around me, and I bury my face in his chest, then start to giggle. "What's funny?" He asks me.

"They're giving us weird looks, aren't they?" I ask. I was used to the looks. We got them all the time. They don't exactly accept homosexuality. I hear Kai giggle too, and know that he's making faces the people staring at us.

"Let's go home." He wispers in my ear. I nod and pull away from him. Home- the one and only place we're accepted.

We walk down the streets, talking randomly about things that, of course, only make sense to us. I'm not even sure if half of the things we say are even real words. I think we have a made up language, actually. But, considering how apparently I speak this 'language' fluently, I'm not really all that sure. People stare at us again, giving us dirty looks. Guys aren't supposed to hold hands. Guys aren't supposed to walk so close to each other. Guys aren't supposed to kiss other guys.

But I guess we're an exception.

We walk through my front door and go into the living room. For once, we're alone. We sit down on the couch. I lean my head on Kai's shoulder, and he puts his arm around me. "Hey, Kai?" I whisper.

"Yeah?"

"I love you." I say. He doesn't say it back. He never does, and I don't think he ever will. I don't think he loves me back.

He gives me a small smile, running his fingers through my hair. "I know." He replies. It's the same reply everytime.

I think it makes him uncomfertable. Me saying it to him all the time. But I want him to know. I want him to know just how much he means to me. I want him to know that I would die for him. I really would.

"Rei?" He finally says. I sigh and look up and him.

"Kai?" He smiles at me and kisses me. On the lips. For the first time. But he pulls away quickly, as if he's afraid. Afraid of me...I think he is. And it hurts like hell.

Just then, I hear the door open, followed by my brother's voice. "You two aren't making out in there, are you?" He asks, knowing we're home. He hates walking in on me kissing someone. Even when I would still go out with girls, he hated walking in on us.

Kai shoots me a, 'tell-him-yes-so-he'll-leave-us-alone' look, so I call back, "Yeah, now go away!"

I listen to Jin trudging upstairs, mumbling something that I can't really hear. All I understood was something about hedgehogs and outerspace.

Me and Kai sit there in silence for a while. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kai staring at me, hoping that I would say something. But I don't. I'm still upset over the fact that he doesn't love me back, over the fact that he's...afraid of me.

"Rei?" He finally says. "Are you mad at me?" I shake my head, not looking at him. "Rei-Rei, please tell me what's wrong. If...if it's me...I-I can change-"

"Just shut the fuck up, Kai." My voice sounds acidic, fed up with hiding how he what this is doing to me. He stares at the ground, obviously hurt.

I feel the sting of the tears, dying to come out. I slid off the couch and go to my room, slamming the door behind me. As soon as my body collapses on the bed, I let the tears flood down my face. Sobbing hysterically.

"Rei?" I hear Kai say from outside my door. "Rei, please talk to me!"

"Leave me alone!" I yell, my voice muffled because my face is buried in my pillow. But the door opens anyway. Fuck. I forgot to lock it. Kai sits down on my bed, staring at me.

"Please, Rei. Don't cry. I hate to see you cry." He begs.

"Then stop making me cry." I tell him. He sighs, his fingers going through my hair again.

"What's wrong? What can I do to fix it?" I push his hand away and sit up, glaring at him.

"FUCK OFF!" I scream. He jumps, not expecting that outburst from me. "You wanna fucking know what's wrong? What's wrong is, I love you so much, Kai! I would die for you, you know that? I. Would. DIE for you! And you'll never feel the same for me!" I'm breathing rapidly, sobbing harder and harder. He stays quiet, staring at the floor again. Finally, I whisper, "Maybe...maybe if I die, t-then you'll understand w-what you're doing to me."

He doesn't get it. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. Apparently, I speak three languages, and Kai only knows two. He looks up at me, confused. Until I get up and go over to my dresser. There's a gun in there. A loaded gun. I take it out and hold it against my head, my finger lands on the trigger.

Kai's eyes widen. "REI, DON'T!" He screams, running over to me. He tries grabbing it from me, but I step backwards. My grip on the gun tightens. "Rei, please! I need you! Don't leave me!" He sobs. I only shake my head.

"I...I love you, Kai." I whisper. And with that, I pull the trigger.

But before I die, before the bullet lodges itself in my brain, I hear his voice, racking with sobs, saying, "I love you too."


End file.
